Written by: Jo Mousley
How good are you at influencing people to your way of thinking? You already flex your style of communication without even thinking about it, the way you talk to your partner, your boss, your kids, or your mates down the pub is all different. You might do this subconsciously or on purpose to try and get the best results from your conversation, but do you truly know the best ways to improve work relationships?
Sometimes you’ll meet somebody and just instantly click, while other times you meet someone and they set your hairs on edge. Why is that? To get the best out of any relationship, the first thing we need to consider is the way we prefer to do things and how that might be perceived by others.
Understanding how other people prefer to work and how we can change our behaviours to get the best result, is what’s known as ‘flexing your style’. Here are three practical ways to improve work relationships.
Step 1. Self-Awareness
How do you prefer to work? Do you enjoy working with energetic people who talk a lot, or do you prefer a quieter, more thoughtful approach? Do you naturally gravitate toward those who focus on getting tasks done efficiently, or those who make people and relationships their priority? Are you inspired by creative thinkers brimming with big-picture ideas, or do you find comfort working with colleagues who value plans, details, and careful process?
Asking yourself these sorts of questions is one of the best ways to improve work relationships because it helps you uncover your own working and behavioural preference. By recognising your own style, you can identify your strengths and potential blind spots, as well as see how your preferences shape your interactions. For example, if you thrive in fast-paced environments with plenty of discussion, but work on a team that values reflection and planning, you may need to adapt your style to fit the group.
In practical terms, self-awareness can be built by reflecting regularly on your workplace interactions, seeking honest feedback from colleagues, and being open to learning about yourself. When you understand yourself, you unlock one of the most powerful ways to improve work relationships—because you can start flexing your approach rather than expecting everyone else to change or match your style.
Step 2. Awareness of Others
It can be frustrating to work with someone whose style is different from your own, but as you might have heard, opposites often attract. Embracing these differences is absolutely critical to finding sustainable ways to improve work relationships. By paying attention to your colleagues’ working styles, motivations, and preferences, you foster empathy and collaboration.
Consider these questions:
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Do they prefer emails that are short and to the point, or messages packed with background detail and context?
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Are they most comfortable with time to prepare for meetings, or do they value a spontaneous approach, jumping into a quick brainstorm at a moment’s notice?
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Do they focus on measurable results and outcomes, or are they more concerned with the impact that decisions and change will have on people?
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How do they typically respond to feedback and recognition? Do they value public acknowledgment, or do they appreciate a quiet, personal thank you?
Observing your colleagues, and when possible, asking them about their preferences, opens new ways to improve work relationships. You may find that someone who seems aloof in meetings is actually deep in thought, that a person who pushes for fast decisions simply wants to keep momentum going, or that a team member who asks for lots of data is simply motivated by accuracy and detail.
You could even create a short team survey or questionnaire as part of your onboarding or team-building process to capture preferences. The more openly you discuss these ideas, the more ways you will find to improve relationships across the board.
Step 3: Flex to Get the Best
So what’s the benefit of being aware of these differences; does it really matter that we each have unique approaches and preferences? Variety is, after all, the spice of life! But having greater awareness of yourself and your colleagues gives you the best chance of working together effectively—and this is one of the most reliable ways to improve work relationships.
Flexibility isn’t about changing who you are or abandoning your strengths. Instead, it’s about recognising that people respond differently to various approaches, and adapting your style to meet the situation or individual. Rather than insisting on your way, find common ground and communicate in a way that makes others comfortable, understood, and engaged.
For example, if you work with someone who values data and details, provide context and examples in your emails and presentations. If your manager prefers quick catch-ups, keep your updates brief and focused. If a colleague needs time to digest information, send materials in advance and allow for follow-up questions. These are simple but powerful ways to improve work relationships by meeting others where they are.
In team settings, encourage open dialogue about personal strengths and preferences, celebrate diversity, and show appreciation for flexibility. It’s also helpful to step back and acknowledge victories achieved through collaboration—even if you had to adapt your natural style.
Flexing your style, rather than rigidly sticking to one approach, helps influence people positively, build trust, and play to everyone’s strengths. It’s at the heart of productive collaboration at work and leads to healthier relationships outside of work as well.
Taking Action – More Ways to Improve Work Relationships
Investing time in developing your self-awareness, truly understanding others, and learning how to flex and adapt doesn’t just improve communication; it shapes a culture of respect, loyalty, and effectiveness. Consider regular feedback sessions, personality profiling workshops, and open conversations about working styles as part of your team development toolkit.
To learn more about how to flex your style and develop sustainable behavioural change, contact us here at PDW Group to see how we can flex our approach to help you—and together discover even more ways to improve work relationships!
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