Stop Hiding Behind Psychological Safety

The work of Amy Edmondson (1999) was never about creating workplaces where nobody feels discomfort. Her research focused on helping teams speak up, admit mistakes and raise concerns without fear of ridicule.

Removing challenge from professional life was never the point but somewhere along the way, experiencing discomfort became too much.

In a recent session, I told a delegate that their delivery was landing as unprofessional and underprepared, and that it gave the impression they did not care. That judgement was not about their character; they were capable and committed. The issue was impact. Once we had explored what they were doing well, we turned to the behaviours that were undermining them. Although the message was uncomfortable, it was precise and fair and resulted in a palpable shift.

What is striking is how often both sides try to avoid or soften moments like that. The person giving feedback worries about being seen as too harsh or too blunt. On the other hand, the person receiving it can hide behind the language of safety and treat discomfort as evidence of a personal attack. If it feels awkward, the reasoning goes, someone must have crossed a line.

That interpretation is neat and reassuring but it is also inaccurate.

Avoiding direct feedback in the name of wellbeing does not protect anyone; in fact, it does the opposite. Colleagues are left guessing. Unhelpful habits become embedded and fear of both giving and receiving the necessary message increases. The gap between intention and impact quietly widens and confidence erodes in the background.

Real psychological safety does not mean ease. It means having enough trust to tolerate tension, to hear what needs to be heard, and to adjust accordingly. The phrase, “Can I give you some feedback” should make us think, “Yes!” rather than, “Oh $h!7!”

or

Real psychological safety does not mean ease. It means having enough trust to tolerate tension, to hear what needs to be heard, and to adjust accordingly. The phrase “Can I give you some feedback?” should trigger curiosity, not dread.

Note for Jim: I ran the 2 final paragraphs through ChatGPT for its opinion. Here’s the response:

The “Yes!” versus “Oh $h!7” framing is human, relatable and slightly provocative. It reinforces the idea that feedback should not trigger panic. It will divide opinion a little, which is not a bad thing given the positioning.

The “curiosity, not dread” version is more executive and boardroom-safe. It carries less personality but more corporate acceptability.

Personally, I prefer the less safe option.